Be kind to yourself and silence your own worst critic
In today’s fast-paced world, perfection has become a common objective for many. From striving towards a successful job to maintaining the perfect body, home, or family life, our desire to attain perfection can often feel never-ending and all-consuming. It’s no wonder we feel inadequate.
Society tells us that achieving perfection will bring us happiness and make us more likeable in others’ eyes. However, all this creates is a facade that’s exhausting and unattainable. Take a moment to consider the people in your life who you love and admire. You might find that you are attracted not only to their virtues, but rather to their wholeness of character. More often than not, it is their quirks and uniqueness that resonate with us
the most.
So why is it so difficult to apply this idea of embracing imperfection when it comes to ourselves? By celebrating our weaknesses and welcoming vulnerability, I’m convinced we can cultivate a deeper sense of contentment in our lives – a notion I would much rather be focusing on, wouldn’t you?
As a self-confessed perfectionist, I ask myself, “How can I practise more self-compassion and acceptance of who I am?” Here are a few ideas that continue to work for me along the way.
1 Consider where perfectionism exists in your life
Grab a journal and write down what you find. Reflect and consider what drives you to strive for an unattainable level of perfection in these areas. Do you feel pressure from society, family or social media? Does your self-worth depend on this? Understanding what drives you to reach a certain goal is the first step to figuring out what’s authentically meaningful for you.
2 Let go of unrealistic expectations
Perfectionism often stems from setting unrealistically high standards for ourselves. Challenge these expectations by setting easier and more realistic goals for yourself. This is also a wonderful opportunity to view mistakes and setbacks as a natural part of the journey. Focus on what you can enjoy and learn during the flow state along the way, rather than what you’ll achieve at the finish line.
3 Recognise that you are not your thoughts
By understanding that we are not our thoughts, we can open the door to kindness and forgiveness of our imperfections. When we acknowledge that thoughts arise from a myriad of external influences, past experiences and conditioning, rather than being a true reflection of our worth or identity, we have an opportunity to let go of judgment and foster more self-love.
Write down the thoughts you’d prefer to have about yourself and say them out loud each day until they become ingrained in your mind. Put sticky notes around the house to remind yourself of your new, more empowering thoughts.
Photography: Eleanor Cripps
4 Embrace the concept of wabi-sabi
Wabi-sabi is rooted in Japanese aesthetics and encourages us to find beauty in imperfection and embrace the transient nature of life and the continuous changes it brings. It teaches us that everything is impermanent, allowing us to savour the present moment without clinging to the past or worrying about the future. Rather than striving for flawlessness, wabi-sabi encourages us to appreciate the unique character of things that bear the mark of time and use. Whether it’s a chipped teacup, a weathered piece of furniture, or a wrinkled linen cloth, these “flaws” can serve as reminders of the stories and experiences that have shaped us. It’s about finding contentment and joy in what we have, rather than constantly seeking more through material things and badges of success.
5 Practise gratitude daily
We have so much to be grateful for. However, the pursuit of perfection steals from us our ability to feel thankful for what’s already wonderful in our lives. Creating some kind of gratitude ritual that works for you can be a brilliant way to stay rooted in the present. This will enable you to feel connected to the joy that surrounds you. As you drink your morning coffee, write down three things you appreciate, or perhaps as you finish brushing your teeth, smile in the mirror and tell yourself something you are thankful for. The more you do this, the easier it becomes.
Learning to appreciate imperfection is a journey, requiring self-reflection and courage. I hope these ideas inspire you to be gentle in embracing your unique nature and offer an empowering shift in perspective.
Words Eleanor Cripps
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